Laser Buttplug Games

The Sport of Burns.

Born at Hamburn 2025. Banned at Burning Man. Coming to Elsewhere's SuperBowel.

Three players per side. A smoke-filled arena. A rogue robot with four sensors. Your only tool? A beam of light coming from exactly where you think it is. Steer the robot across the opponent's line. Score points. Become legend.

Matches last five minutes. Crowds press against plexiglass walls. Teams have names, uniforms, and rivalries that follow them across the European burn circuit. The Assletes train year-round. If you think that's a joke, you haven't seen the game.

The Circuit

• Hamburn Debutt — Germany. Where it all began. • BumHalla Championshit — Berlin. The winter title fight. • SuperBowel — Spain. Thursday Game Night. Where legends are crowned.

Why It Exists

Because burns aren't about doing things that already exist. They're about inventing something so absurd, so physical, so genuinely fun that people can't stop talking about it. LBG is participation, self-expression, and community rolled into one ridiculous, glorious package.

Get Involved

Form a team. Design your uniforms. Train your glutes. Find us on Telegram.

The robot doesn't steer itself.